Fink Think

Captivated by "Hungry Monsters"

2009-02-10T07:39:00.004-05:00

This Sunday we put Monsters, Inc. on for Josh. And then I found this...

Vivy doesn't watch TV yet, so I was sort of shocked to find her glued to the tube.

And check out the hand holding-- that sweet Molly

Vivy video for Tim & Hannah

2008-12-21T13:56:00.000-05:00

Latest Vivy Pictures

2008-12-20T21:53:00.004-05:00

Vivy helping Michael and Amy decide who to vote for...

Helping out with the leaves...

Thanksgiving in Atlanta with Michael and Daniel...

Molly and Vivy sharing a bowl of peas in December.

2008-11-10T06:58:00.004-05:00

Here are a few pics from Vivy's VIP birthday party (meaning Vivy, Mom, Dad and Mimi). If you want to see some other good ones from her baptism and birthday lunch, check out The Charlotte Metzls and The Eden 4 . We managed not to take a single picture, so we are relying on our dear friends and family to record the important moments in Vivy's life.

Lovin' the icing

Vivy and Curious George

And a few days later getting a pumpkin for Halloween...

Of course, Vivy spots a dog and could care less about the pumpkins...

Prescious Pooky

2008-10-28T21:08:00.004-04:00

Here are a few teasers from Tiona until the full set of pictures come out from the birthday session last weekend.

If you are still reading our blog...

2008-10-22T08:29:00.003-04:00

My challenge with blogging is that it seems to take so long to post! So instead of taking time to make excuses for why we've abandoned our blog for the past few months, I'm just going to jump in with family news and a few pics.

Tomorrow is Vivy's first birthday, and I can't believe it. She's very helpful-- here she brushing Randy's teeth. She likes to brush mine too, and it works out great because she'll let me brush hers at the same time!

Eric and Sarah and our long lost friends the Landons came over for dinner last Thursday. Vivy and Owen continue to be big buds, and the exersaucer is much more exciting when Owen is in it!

We went to Durham this weekend for Randy's annual Duke reunion and tailgated with "the Dookies" as I like to call them. Vivy went to her first football game and had a blast. She loved cheering, climbing the bleechers and dancing with the band. She also discovered Evy's Duke chair and took a minute to chill. The Metzls call this lounging.

Practicing to be a Cameron Crazy!

Vivy and Maddie at the game

By the way, Vivy is walking! I'll post more pics from her birthday and baptism this weekend.

Off To the Races II

2008-08-17T14:33:00.003-04:00

Vivy loves the new toy Emily bought at the consignment sale yesterday - it won't be long until she's walking on her own, I bet. She's stylin' in the new outfit from the Bondurants.

Vivy Sightings

2008-08-12T21:25:00.003-04:00

Here is the Pooky napping.

Bathing is finally fun.

Mommy and Pooky hangin' outside.

They're both wrong

2008-08-12T20:46:00.004-04:00

I didn't know whether to shrug or laugh when I heard about the latest Edmunds fuel efficiency report on a Crown podcast. The bottom line is that properly inflating one's car tires doesn't make too much of a difference with fuel efficiency (do it anyway because it's important for safety and maintenance reasons). So McCain and Obama were vigorously agreeing on a moot point.

http://www.edmunds.com/advice/fueleconomy/articles/106842/article.html#test5

I Love American Express

2008-07-31T22:23:00.002-04:00

American Express is a great company. Not only have I been able to decorate my entire dining room using AMEX points, but I have had two recent experiences with AMEX that makes me love them even more.

A few weeks ago, Steph's car broke down at our house. I called the AMEX roadside assistance service, and they dispatched someone to come tow the car. I was still waiting after an hour and a half, so I called AMEX again to follow up. The woman I spoke with was so great-- she said that it was unacceptable that I had waited over an hour for the tow truck and that she would send another tow truck to our house as well as follow up with the first guy. I truly felt like a valued customer and loved it!

If that weren't enough, I got a call on Friday from AMEX about a suspicious charge on my card. They had been monitoring my account and noticed that someone bought $488 worth of vitamins from an online vitamin distributor out of New Jersy. They had already suspended payment, and they closed my account in about 30 seconds over the phone. To top it off, I had a new card delivered to my door on Monday. Amazing!

I know, I sound like a cheesy add, but AMEX, you really are the best. I love you!

Black Snake

2008-07-26T08:53:00.005-04:00

I was reminded yesterday that I haven't posted about my recent encounter with our resident black snake who was the subject of one of our first blog posts in 2006. About a month ago, I walked out the side door of the house to go somewhere and boom, ran smack dab into Mr. Snake, eye to eye. Shocking is an understatement.

I tried to help him down, but I guess I startled him and he wriggled, hissed, and fell down. It sounded painful, but he kept moving vigorously so I figured he was fine. The first time in my life parseltongue would have come in handy.

Point being, I caught him again and tried to remove him to the natural area where he's done such a good job clearing the moles and voles. Unfortunately, I dropped him again on the way and he actually crawled through a vent hole into our crawl space. I guess that's good, but it's taken a couple of weeks to get over being creeped out by the thought of his proximity.

Inspiring

2008-07-25T22:36:00.002-04:00

I hadn't heard of Randy Pausch until today when I read he passed away. If you can get passed the tragedy part, it's really cool that he had a few months to get things in order, cherish his family, and deliver this lecture.

http://www.charlotte.com/112/story/729049.html

I would prefer immortality, but this is a nice 2nd best.

A Good Prayer

2008-07-24T10:42:00.003-04:00

Last week I picked up my Phyllis Tickle summer prayer book and have been using it for a short, quiet moment in the evenings. The prayer of the week this week is really sweet (and so right on!), so I thought I'd share it:

Almighty God, the fountain of all wisdom, you know my necessities before I ask and my ignorance in asking: Have compassion on my weakness, and mercifully give me those things which for my unworthiness I dare not ask, and for my blindess I cannnot ask; through the worthiness of your Son Jesus Christ my Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.

Off to the Races

2008-07-12T07:36:00.001-04:00

Vivy started crawling last weekend - what a hard worker!

Don't worry, we haven't left the blogosphere!

2008-07-07T21:18:00.011-04:00

It's not really out of slackness that we haven't blogged. Well, maybe initially. Then I sat down to blog almost two weeks ago after returning from a great trip to Hilton Head with Steph, Marty, Chris, Josh and Molly, and our hard drive crashed. Then we had to order another one, and then Randy had to spend a few days installing it (or whatever you call it). But now we are up and running!

I'm not going to post anything newsy, but our beach trip slide show is here on the right for you Vivy addicts. We'll be back with more news soon.

Celebrating Millie

2008-05-26T11:40:00.007-04:00

One of my co-workers during the summer of 1996 had some friends who found a dog wandering in their Knightdale neighborhood and weren't able to find the owners. They loved the dog, who they nicknamed Heidi, but had recently become empty nesters and didn't want to cramp their new freedom. I had just moved into a house with a back yard for my senior year in college and thought a dog would be perfect. I picked her up after work one day, quickly renamed her Millie (after President G. H. W. Bush's dog).

Millie was a ton of fun from the beginning. The second or third day at the house she discovered a Busch Beer clock on the wall. The clock had a barely perceptible second hand that made a quiet "tick" every time it moved. When she first saw it, she launched up a chair and pointed at the clock for a good two hours. Over the course of that year, she spent hours and hours each week pointing at the second hand hoping I would kill it.

She made a lot of friends that summer (and helped me make some too - dogs are great that way!). Good ole Kyle Catherwood was her favorite, but John Roberts and Jeff Laoang were high on her list too. There were a couple of cruel roommates that were not high on her list though, especially after the laundry basket incident. Millie was clear that all is forgiven, but that explains the lack of pictures with some people.

There has been a lot of speculation about whether she ever had puppies before we met her and I just don't know. Whatever her familial status prior to her entrance into my life, it became unpleasantly clear after just a couple of months that all of her pipes were still in working order. This picture is of her wearing some of Kyle's underwear until I could get to the store and buy some "bitches britches."

Of course Millie loved to go for walks, and she particularly loved hiking trips. We went to Mt. Mitchell quite a bit for the first few years after college, and also a few other spots. She even had fun on the blizzard hike in Pisgah - the snow was over her head most of the trip.

I don't have a photo for obvious reasons, but a story that illustrates Millie's irrational love for me involves her slingshotting out of my car window. It was 1999 (I think), and I was living at 3400 Selwyn. I was heading towards town on Selwyn for some reason, and Millie was riding shotgun with her head sticking out the window. We rounded that curve just past Selwyn Pub at about 40 miles an hour. I didn't pay enough attention to how far the window was rolled down and how strong the centrifugal forces were as we hit the sharpest part of the turn, and whoosh like a rocket Millie went flying. She landed nose first in someones yard. I quickly pulled over and ran to her - though dazed, she didn't seem hurt and just looked at me with that "what the hell just happened" look that struck me with a wash of both guilt and affection. Not surprisingly, she never ever stuck her head out of the window of a moving car again.

There is a big hole in the picture history with Millie from 1999 to 2002 when I was working in politics. In retrospect, this was a terrible time for Millie I'm sure, though I wasn't paying attention at the time. I was rarely home, and at one point was more or less working in another city and would be home briefly each day to let Millie out to go to the bathroom. In 2001 and 2002, she went to live with the Bondurants while I worked in Salisbury. One of the stories of highest praise I have about Millie is one of the most damning of myself. In 2001 I was working on a campaign that had me doing some intensive work for about 48 hours at one point. I didn't come home from the office to let Millie out to walk, or change her water, or change out her food, or say "hello" that entire 48 hours. When I did get home, she was so excited to see me, didn't hold a grudge, and hadn't peed on the carpet. Oh that I could be half as good at being a man that she was at being a dog.

The good news is that we had a lot of fun a lot of the time. The most fun we had together was often hiking in the North Carolina Mountains. Millie would run ahead on a trail until she was almost out of site, then run back to make sure I was following her, then run out of sight again. For every mile I hiked, she hiked two. I learned early in our hiking career to have her wear a small cowbell. Though I'm sure she always intended to come back to me, there were many times on the trail when she was gone for 30-90 minutes at a time. Most likely always relatively close by, but not always within sight. The bell helped me keep track of her and stay confident that she wasn't lost somewhere in the wilderness. She was usually a hit with the friends I hiked with, though some of the fondest memories are from camping at Mount Rogers in Virginia with John and Sellie where Millie wasn't afraid to eat some pony poo.

Meeting Emily was a tough experience for Millie. Millie made it clear at first that she was the woman of the house and didn't appreciate any additional company. The two girls were fast friends by the end of 2003, however, and by the time Emily and I were married were at least as close as Millie and I had ever been. One of our most fond memories was hiking with Millie in Linville Gorge where she wouldn't leave Emily's side the entire trip.

The thought of the possible tension between Vivy and Millie was a point of concern before Vivian was born, though it turns out to have been completely unnecessary. From the day we brought Vivy home from the hospital, Millie was the perfect loving-guard dog and didn't like to leave Vivy's side. One of the sweetest parts of Millie's decline was that Vivian woke up to the world and even started showing affection for Millie in the last month or so. I think the fact that Vivy got to meet Millie, and appreciate her in a small way, added some salve to the imminence of the loss.

The last six weeks were rough for Millie. She had some nerve problems that affected her back legs since 2004, but more recently also developed kidney failure and some kind of malignant cancer (the vet said the kidney problem was plenty of problem enough and not to worry about the cancer). Things hit a low point about three weeks ago, and we actually took Millie to the vet at that time to be euthanized. While in the office, literally moments from the injection, I learned that one of the doctors was available that day to do the procedure as a house call, so I took Millie home for a last meal and what I hoped would be a more comfortable goodbye. In preparation at home, I loaded her up with drugs (thank the Lord for Deramaxx and Tramadol) and to my delight she perked up! In fact, she was mobile and relatively happy for another two weeks. She couldn't really take a walk for fun, but she wagged her tail, could give and receive affection, and enjoyed eating. It was a real gift to have that extra time to give her extra kisses and hugs. It was particularly sweet to have the space to remember and cherish hanging out, knowing it wouldn't last forever.

Last Wednesday was the last time Millie wagged her tail, and Thursday was the last time she ate any of her food. Though it was clear at that time that we were running out of tomorrows, it wasn't clear, whether because of true ignorance or irrational hope, that the end was just days away. While we were in Chapel Hill, we had confirmation from the Metzls and from Elizabeth that Millie was in a bad way, and coming home with fresh eyes helped us see that she was living an irrevocably miserable life. I set the appointment with Dr. Doyle and we spent the last twenty-four hours celebrating with Millie. She was able to eat a few pieces of the popcorn, chicken, cheese, and peanut butter dinner we made for her which probably made us happier than it made her. The best part was that as we loved on her this morning, she relaxed in a way that was so clearly indicating that she loved us and trusted us while at the same time asking us to help her die. It was as sweet as such a powerfully sorrowful moment could be.

I snapped this picture before Vivy went down for her nap and we said our last goodbyes to Millie. I had to prop her up to get the picture, but it captures the infinite patience, and loyalty, and love that made her what she was to me.

The procedure at Animal Medical Hospital was really sweet. The admin staff was very accommodating, and helped me arrange for all the logistics and payments in advance and in a private room where I could boo-hoo to my hearts content. Dr. Doyle was so kind, and he truly seemed heart broken about her. The sadness and tears of other people, starting with Dr. Doyle and continuing with everyone we have seen, talked with, and emailed have been a real comfort today.

We have loved you Millie, and we are so glad to have had the time we had with you. An extravagantly loving God blessed us with you, and we can cherish the hope that he will lavish us with your company again.

Dogs Do Go To Heaven

2008-05-25T19:38:00.003-04:00

We just came home from Chapel Hill where we had a great time visiting with some old friends and introducing Vivy to both Duke and UNC. Wow, I love the Triangle! I'm sure we'll have some fun stories and good pictures to post soon.

Occupying our minds more urgently is sweet Millie who is about to get an outrageously good chicken, popcorn, cheese, and peanut butter dinner (good in dog cuisine, anyway). Poor Millie has been struggling with some nerve problems and kidney failure, and sadly things have worked their way to their end this weekend. I'm taking her in to see Dr. Doyle tomorrow morning. We should get her ashes in a few weeks and I think I want to take them to Mt. Mitchell - that's where she went hiking with me the most often and she always had a blast.

We're so sad that it's hard to write, but my spirit just absolutely soared when I read this quote from a Randy Alcorn article on Christianity Today. Praise God for his awesomeness in everything, especially the little extravagances that show his outlandishly lavishing love.

Joni Eareckson Tada says, "If God brings our pets back to life, it wouldn't surprise me. It would be just like him. It would be totally in keeping with his generous character … Exorbitant. Excessive. Extravagant in grace after grace. Of all the dazzling discoveries and ecstatic pleasures heaven will hold for us, the potential of seeing Scrappy would be pure whimsy—utterly, joyfully, surprisingly superfluous. … Heaven is going to be a place that will refract and reflect in as many ways as possible the goodness of joy of our great God, who delights in lavishing love on his children."

Growing Things

2008-05-21T07:33:00.002-04:00

A few weeks after Vivy was born, I ventured out and bough these pumpkins and plants so I could take this "First Halloween" picture. (I actually took the picture a week or so after Halloween, but she doesn't know that). She was so tiny...

Last week I attempted to prune that same plant in hopes of getting it to last a little longer before I needed to change it out. Vivy helped.

How things grow! One getting better with age, and the other not looking so hot...

Wow!!!

2008-05-13T13:24:00.003-04:00

I have something of a pet peeve about the overuse of exclamation points. The pictures Tiona Fuller took of Vivian at our Independence Park photoshoot, however, deserve special positive reaction with extra volume, like Wow!!! or Beautiful!!! or I can't believe she's kin to Randy!!!

More pictures of Vivy are on Tiona's blog.

An Accidentally Wonderful Purchase

2008-05-09T00:02:00.003-04:00

For several months now I have been looking for a rug to go in our dining room. Easy enough, right? Expect 1) I was working with a painting we are housing for our friend Hannah and Tim and 2) I am really, really picky. So after visiting every mainstream store in town (Pottery Barn, Crate & Barrel, etc.) and not finding anything that matched perfectly, my mom suggested that I go to Home Depot and look at having some carpet bound into a rug. So I did, and I found a great deep brown carpet that works with the painting and the wall color. Done. So now we have a brown rug.

Here's the surprise. Sweet Millie, in her very old age, has been having some kidney trouble and "going" wherever she is when the time hits. And she "went" on our new dining room rug just the other day. The good news: the carpet obviously has some sort of stain treatment because the pee just sort of settled on the top. I'm not saying it didn't go through at all; I'm just saying it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Who would have thought that getting a piece of carpet cut into a rug would be so perfect for a dining room? I can just imagine spilt wine, milk, etc. floating on top of the rug fibers thanks to the Stainmaster treatment. So if you are in the market for a dining room rug, definitely go for a piece of Stainmaster carpet. I couldn't be happier.

And just for fun, here is our latest family portrait. Please ignore the fact that I look like I just rolled out of bed, and Randy appears to be laughing. I just wanted everyone to see the family (especially Millie)!

"You're gonna be po-pu-u-lar!"

2008-04-29T17:09:00.005-04:00

We haven't posted for too long now, so here are some Fink happenings from the past two weeks. First, two weekends ago I made Randy stand in line at the Wicked ticket lottery to see if we could get tickets to the show. They sell 20 tickets by lottery for $25 each before each show, and I figured we had nothing to loose standing in line. After not winning for the Saturday matinee, we recruited my mom, Chris and Marty to put their names in the drawing along with us, and WE WON! TWICE!! Chris was the first name drawn, and Randy was fourth or fifth. I could not believe it. I have wanted to see this show for FOREVER, and it was absolutely wonderful. Not to mention that our seats were 4th row-- partly obstructed but still great. So thanks Metzls and Mom for standing in line with us (and to Mom for babysitting).

This past weekend we went to our All-Church Retreat and really had a great time. I did not appreciate how popular having a baby makes you, and we were followed by a horde of 8 year old girls every time Vivy was out an about. As Glenda would say, "You're gonna be popular!"

The last bit of news is only exciting for me: I'm going to resume my classes at Gordon-Conwell this summer. After doing this motherhood thing for a few months (six to be exact), I think I'm ready to tackle school again. I'm also fully aware that I may be eating these words in about six more months. Only time will tell...

That's the news from Lake Wobegon. Hope everyone is having a good week.

A Helpful Pookie

2008-04-16T19:24:00.000-04:00

Millie hasn't been feeling well this week, so Vivy has been nursing her back to health. Perhaps she has a future in medicine?

Spring and Mimi

2008-04-11T00:22:00.000-04:00

Mimi got to spend some quality time with Vivy on this lovely spring day. Vivy must have inherited her smile from Elizabeth.

Dinner with Michael

2008-04-08T19:32:00.004-04:00

Vivian had a surprise dinner with Michael tonight. The fact that Michael was joining us by phone was a net positive since we haven't quite nailed down Vivy's table manners yet.

There must have been some serious fiber in that rice cereal, because we had a massive poo-splosion afterwards. Once again, I was amazing in both my calm control and swift response. Vivy, too, was terrific throughout the emergency. Here she is counting her toes to make sure they survived the poo-splosion.

Big Belly for Heidi

2008-04-05T17:15:00.000-04:00

Heidi had the good fortune to hang out with Vivian for a while today. As you can see from the very full belly, Vivy had just finished lunch.

Happy Hour

2008-04-05T08:40:00.002-04:00

Vivy took a whole bottle by herself yesterday (8 oz), with only a few assists from me to make sure it was tilted up enough to flow. Emily and I drank our Mission Accomplisheds and admired our very advanced daughter.

Scenes From This Week

2008-04-05T08:00:00.002-04:00

"Ummm, I love eating this flag over and over again..."

Already learning to read. As Mimi says, "She's advanced."

Six weeks apart, and I think Vivy could definitely take Owen.

Bruce Springsteen and Arcade Fire

2008-03-31T15:35:00.004-04:00

I was recently listening to Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run album (#18 on RS Top 500 list) in the car, and I thought to myself, "Wow, this sort of reminds me of Arcade Fire..." So I came home and googled Arcade Fire's musical influences in hopes of seeing Bruce Springsteen listed. Sadly, I couldn't find mention of AF tipping their hat to Springsteen, but lots of other people have made the same connection between the two that I did. Matter of fact, Springsteen invited AF to join him on a few songs in a concert in Ottawa last October! I've posted Springsteen's "Thunder Road" and Arcade Fire's "Intervention" on my jukebox, so let me know if you hear what I hear. Also, here's the link to a video of "State Trooper/Keep the Car Running" from Springsteen's Ottawa show. I think it's pretty cool...

Cutie Patootie

2008-03-29T14:08:00.003-04:00

Emily's favorite pet name for Vivian is "Cutie Patootie." We got some great shots of our little Cutie Patootie today.

Shameless Product Promotion - Seventh Generation Disposable Diapers

2008-03-22T11:09:00.004-04:00

I was skeptical about trying environmentally friendly diapers. I just assumed that they would leak, smell, and generally be inferior to the traditional disposables. One gets used to inferior quality when buying environmentally friendly products. However, the Seventh Generation diapers have been just as absorbent as Huggies or Pampers and leaking has been a total non-issue.

The used Seventh Generation diapers do smell a little more "natural," but it hasn't really bothered me.

It's worth noting that the diapers are the color of a brown lunch bag. To the untrained eye, one may think the diapers are soiled when they are not.

Equally good pricing news, if you buy the diapers on Amazon.Com you can get them for about $0.22 per diaper which is about what one would pay for Huggies or Pampers at the grocery store, but they're delivered straight to the house.

For Robyn

2008-03-16T11:19:00.003-04:00

My sister-in-law Robyn asked that we post a picture of Vivy every week-- even if we don't write anything. So here are a few shots from Fink happenings over the past few weeks, plus one of our Godson Josh collecting table numbers at the Sports Connection. Fun times!

Let's Start With the Rolling Stones

2008-03-10T20:44:00.004-04:00

I recently started listening to Exile on Main Street by the Rolling Stones. I was only familiar with their big radio hits like "Start Me Up" and "I Can't Get No Satisfaction", so I was really surprised when several tracks from this album reminded me of the Grateful Dead and other... more mellow music. I've added one of my favorites from the album to the playlist called "Loving Cup". I'm not going to write a lot about the Stones because, frankly, I'm not that into them. But I hope you will appreciate listening to an earlier song.

I will, however, write about how both the band and the magazine got their name. After a little research I'm pretty sure that both the band and magazine are named after an old Muddy Waters song called "Rollin' Stone". I was hoping that the name came from Bob Dylan's "Like a Rolling Stone" off of Highway 61 Revisited because it is a fantastic song. But I took some solace in the fact that the Dylan tune was ranked the #1 song in the RS top 500 songs list. I've posted both the Muddy Waters song and the Dylan song for your listening pleasure. I never thought I would say I like Bob Dylan, but Highway 61 is a really great album.

And I also want to give a shout out to Johnny for pointing out that the Beach Boys album I mentioned in my last RS post is called Pet Sounds and not Pet Music. Good catch, Johnny.

Ever have that feeling...

2008-03-09T10:41:00.004-04:00

...that everything you hold dear and holy is a lie? I regret that I had a bout of insomnia last weekend and stumbled upon VH1 Classic around 3am. The first video I saw was Boston, but I can't remember what song. I had a good impression of the song though. I was starting to feel a little better about being awake so late watching VH1 Classic.

Then I saw AC/DC's "Thunderstruck":

Great video. Very fun. I was enjoying being so tired (sorta). I eagerly waited for the next video.

And then, it happened. The moment of profound despair. I saw KISS's video for "Lick It Up":

Since the time Ronda was a teenager and I heard her play KISS, I thought they were the cool guys. Sure, they wore makeup, but it was scary makeup, strong makeup, the kind of makeup a warrior would wear into deadly, manly battle. It was man-makeup.

Instead, I see these people in leopard-skin high-heels and lots of makeup, girly makeup, the kind of makeup Dil wears in The Crying Game.

I have lost hope for humanity.

Vivian's First Cold

2008-03-08T10:01:00.003-05:00

Vivy had her first cold a week or two ago. She was a real trooper, and was as smiley as ever even though she could barely breath. She slept like a champ for the 6-7 days the cold lasted. Listen to her breathing on the video - poor thing.

Holy Shamu!

2008-03-08T09:18:00.003-05:00

Vivian is the hardest working, most intelligent child this side of Alpha Centauri. Lately she got bored with learning human languages, and instead started dabbling in animal languages. Whale songs are her favorite. Her accent is impeccable after only a few weeks of practice. I'm so proud.

A Growing Little Froggie

2008-03-08T08:28:00.008-05:00

Vivian is four months old and I am just stunned with how (1) it seems like it was just last night when she was born, the memories and feelings are still so vivid, and (2) it seems like I've known her my whole life and I can't fathom how I ever got along before she was born.

So I'm starting to get a sense of what folks really mean when they say how fast kids grow up.

Compare Vivy's first bath (~8lbs):

With her bath last night (~16lbs):

And look how tall she is!

Blending In

2008-03-08T08:27:00.000-05:00

We need to get rid of all the floral patterns in the house. It's like playing "Where's Waldo" every time she puts on those pink Elmo camo overhauls.

I Get No Respect - Reprise

2008-03-08T08:19:00.002-05:00

Rolling Stone Top 100 Albums

2008-02-25T15:49:00.002-05:00

Okay, so before you read this, please read Randy's post on Lent. It is much more inspiring than my new pet project, and I feel guilty posting above his post.

Moving on...

A few years ago, Rolling Stone published a list of the top 500 rock albums of all time (which, by the nature of invention, is limited to the last century). I cut the article out and filed it away, hoping that someday I would actually try to listen to some of these great albums. And that day is finally here.

This year I am going to listen to one album by each artist who has an album appearing on Rolling Stone's top 100 list. That amounts to around 68 albums because I am not listening to 7 Beatles albums, 4 Bob Dylan albums, etc. My goal is to familiarize myself with some of the rock greats that I only know by name and to expand my musical interests. And I'm planning to post a few thoughts and songs along the way. I've added a nifty jukebox feature at the bottom of our blog and will post songs from time to time that I think are noteworthy. And I'm starting with this great Beach Boys song from the #2 album: Pet Music. The irony is that I grew up listening to the Beach Boys and didn't hear this song, God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You, until I was an adult. But it is definitely my favorite BB song.

Enjoy!

A Season to Pause

2008-02-25T12:59:00.003-05:00

Emily and I have spent a lot of time trying to engage Lent this year. The education has been a rich one and we're in awe of the way God has been actively teaching us. Last Thursday, Betty Smith gave the homily below at Westminster's Lenten Service. The background information, the context, the analysis and meaning, as well as the delivery were both provocative and useful. I'm copying the full text of the homily in hopes that Betty's words will be useful and provocative for you too.

A SEASON TO PAUSE

What exactly is Lent? As one who grew up Baptist, Lent was not part of my spiritual experience. It was something that the Catholic and Episcopalians did. I was always delighted that I didn’t have to give up my “chocolates” or “desserts” as my Catholic and Episcopal friends did, particularly since I didn’t understand the meaning behind it anyway. I was however, always amazed by their discipline of “giving up” something they enjoyed for 40 days! That’s a long time! For me, there was no preparation for Easter except the buying of new clothes. It was the weekend itself that we celebrated which in my house meant a visit to my uncle’s home for the weekend. I have always loved Easter morning – lots of excitement in the air and especially the music. But we certainly did not prepare our hearts for Easter for 7 weeks prior! So when I was asked to give the message for today, I realized that I was not sure I knew exactly what Lent really is. As I asked friends, many of them confessed they didn’t quite understand it either. So I started studying and I have to admit, there is a lot of complexity to these 40 days we call Lent!

The word Lent apparently comes from a term in Old English which refers to “spring” or “lengthen”. It refers to the lengthening of the daylight hour that occurs in the northern hemisphere as spring approaches and it is obviously this time of year that the Church celebrates Lent.

But why does it last for 40 days? Big changes take time. They don’t happen overnight. They need to become routine. From the rain in Noah’s day to the Israelites’ wondering in the desert to Jesus’ time in the desert before the start of His public life, forty has been associated with a time of cleansing, a time to step back and reform our lives so that God is really the center. Lent is a time to “prepare” (prepare being the key word here) to celebrate that New Life that spring ushers in and prepare for the glorious resurrection of our Savior. One thing I had never thought about before was that 40 days is about 1/10 of our calendar year – a tithe of our time!

Lent is celebrated differently in different traditions but all generally focus on some form of the rituals Jesus spoke about in Matt 6:1-6, 16-21 whereby Jesus is calling us to practice our faith through prayer, giving alms and fasting. These passages are considered a “blueprint” for the Lenten season. Some Christians abstain or fast from a normal part of their daily routine during Lent to remind them of the sacrifice of Christ. For some that might mean giving up something like chocolate, TV, soft drinks, maybe we need to give up complaining. Others may take something on like volunteering to work with the elderly or help the homeless, maybe we need to learn to take on being thankful or grateful. Whatever “stuff” or "distraction" is given up or taken on, the intent must be to draw us closer to Christ, to return us to the One who loves us.

I was talking to a friend of mine on Monday night and she told me she had given up not only chocolate but all sweets for Lent. She said every time she craved something sweet she really did think “if Jesus had nails in His body, then I can do without desserts.” I think it is important for us to realize, there is no virtue in this practice of “giving up” something for Lent or doing good works other than as a tangible reminder of the need to prepare our hearts and mind and soul for the good news of the Resurrection. I think my friend got it right.

I like the way the Book of Common Prayer of the Episcopal Church describes Lent which seems to incorporate these verses in Matthew 6. “… in the name of the Church, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance, by prayer, fasting and self-denial and by reading and meditating on God’s holy Word”. As I read this, I thought this season of Lent is really a call to “pause”. We need to pause in order to examine ourselves, pause from sin in our lives and repent, pause to pray and spend time with God, pause from overeating, pause from thinking of ourselves to thinking of others, pause from mindless TV to giving of our time to read and study scripture.

Taking time to pause is what Jesus did when He was led into the wilderness to be tested after His baptism. Jesus spent 40 days pausing to better understand God, Himself and the ministry to which God had called Him. He maybe needed time to sort through the major changes that were about to take place in His life, maybe He needed to get away from family and friends and the familiar routine of life in order to see God more clearly. Whatever, the reason, Jesus retreated into the wilderness for 40 days to fast and pray. Pausing is essential to one’s relationship with God, to knowing who God has made us to be and to what He is calling us to do. I like the way Psalm 46:10 sums it up, “Be still and know that I am God”. To know that God is God is to experience Him in the quiet of our hearts, in a relational way – it is knowing Him as our security and stability.

In pausing we also rest. We rest from our normal activities, preoccupation with the world around us, overeating and our need to be entertained.

Lent calls us to pause and rest in order to spend time with Jesus. It is a time of self-examination and preparation and of taking an inventory of one's inner life. We need the Holy Spirit to help us examine and recognize our own frail condition.

My mother is in a season of “pause” at the moment. She had knee replacement surgery on Monday. I have spent the last 2 nights at the hospital with her. As I looked at her lying in that hospital bed, I thought she has had to interrupt the routine of her life, to pause in order to focus on walking again. She did not want this surgery in spite of being in such pain. What about us? We are so busy in our routine life to stop, to pause, to feel the emptiness, the loneliness, the meaninglessness of life, to recognize our stale relationships with each other and more so our relationship with God.

The surgeon came out of the operating room holding up 5 fingers saying, he had done over 5,000 knee replacements and my mother’s knee ranked in the top 5 worst knees he had ever seen. The whole operating room personnel apparently were in awe that this woman could even walk! She is tough, she has endured incredible pain. Before the surgeon could even begin replacing the knee though he had to cut off all the bone spurs that had formed – a cup full! They were probably the essence of her extreme pain! What is it that is hindering our walk, that's causing us great pain? Nothing is too difficult for our Great Physician to heal. My mother was fighting so hard not to have this surgery (I think fear kept her from having it before now) and yet now she realizes that with a little work on her part in therapy she will be out of pain and able to walk better. I thought, my mother is no different than we all are. We all carry around with us fear, pain on the inside, cover it up and yet if we would take the time to search our hearts, release it to God, what joy we would find. The darkness that engulfs us can be replaced with springtime and joy.

I have come to the realization that we have to go through Lent in order to fully understand the impact of Easter in our lives. Until we realize our human frailty and inability to save ourselves, Easter is just a weekend of wearing new clothes and or a great long weekend to go to the beach or a joyful day of the gathering of families and the excitement of the coming of spring and warm weather.

My friend who gave up sweets for Lent confessed to me that she had already failed in her attempt to give them completely up. It has only been a couple of weeks since the Lent season began. I thought to myself that is a perfect example of why we need Easter. We are human and we fail. Paul tells us in Eph 2:8-9 that it is “by grace that we are saved by faith, it is the gift of God – not the results of works, so that no one can boast”. We are saved by God’s grace. Our prayer during this season of Lent maybe should be that of the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14, “Lord, have mercy on me a sinner”.

I think the timing of Lent is perfect. Think about how you feel during this time of year. The dreary cold, the short days and long dark nights, the bare trees, coming home from work in the dark. How we long for the Spring time. The blooming of flowers, the warm sun against our face. Are our souls in the bleak of winter? Is the joy gone? Is there pain dealing with an elderly parent or problems at work or a problem child? Are we just going through the motions of being a Christian? Are we longing for the “Son” to revive us? Do we need the springtime in our souls?

I think Peter had it right. In Luke 5:8 when Peter encountered Jesus’ miracle of the great catch, he fell at Jesus’ knees and said, “go away from me Lord, I am a sinful man!” Peter knew his own sinfulness and recognized Jesus' holiness. Lent is a chance for us to remember our own darkness/sin that sent Jesus to the cross. [The nearer one comes to God, the more he feels his own sinfulness and unworthiness.]

I am still not sure I understand all the symbolism and thoughts behind Lent but I do have a better picture that I need to pause, to prepare my heart, for the realization that sin still dwells within me, of how much I need Easter in my soul not only for salvation but for the richness of life spent here on earth.

Quite simply put, Lent is a season in our Christian year when we are invited to simplify, to pause our lives in order to focus on our relationship with God.

I get no respect.

2008-02-12T17:50:00.000-05:00

Room In The Inn

2008-02-09T19:25:00.000-05:00

I volunteered with my church's Room In The Inn program last night. It was a fun experience and I look forward to doing it again. I have volunteered with homeless programs before, but always by collecting clothes and supplies or serving meals. This was the first time I spent significant time with individual homeless people and got to know them a little bit. Most significant or surprising observations:

More or less normal people. All of them had problems of one flavor or another, but not a one had a problem that I or a close friend have not had.
Employed. All but one of the guys I talked to more or less had a job. It wasn't regular work, mostly seasonal, and paid at or about minimum wage. They also mostly did temporary jobs or frequently changed jobs that were supposed to be semi-permanent.
Three broad categories of reasons they were homeless were: (1) mental illness, (2) low income and high medical expenses, and (3) drug/alcohol addiction. One guy explained to me that the two most common were the mentally ill and addicted, and that the latter regularly preyed on the former for money to buy drugs or alcohol.
Solvable Problems. For the two I talked with who had mental illnesses, they were receiving casework support but didn't have money regularly enough to stay on their meds which of course led to a cycle of problems that led to not having enough money. One guy I talked to was just paid for the first time since November because his caseworker changed and there was a problem with his checks. He hadn't had his meds since Thanksgiving.
High spirits. One guy was sullen, but he had a cold and I think it was more because he didn't feel well than his housing situation. Everyone else was upbeat and seemed more or less happy. I was shocked and awed.
Fun and interesting. I had great conversations on topics ranging from the art of hitchhiking, the ins-and-outs of oil rigs, reasons for weeble-wobbles, Ohio State football, Jesus, stock market and real estate investing, and marriage. We also watched Oceans 11 and Master and Commander.

TMI

2008-02-09T19:14:00.000-05:00

I debated whether to name this post "Too Much Information", "Poo-Splosion", or "Vivy's Wedding Slide Show Slide #2". That was after I debated whether to even post a picture of my lovely, sophisticated, intelligent, hard working, graceful and very fashion-forward daughter covered in poo.

This was my first solo poo-splosion (Emily was at the grocery), and thankfully it was funny instead of stressful. Vivy never missed a beat. And I wasn't really all that grossed out. For folks who are just learning about baby poo, it doesn't smell that badly until they start eating solid food, which I am delighted to report Vivy is not doing yet.

To underscore my heroism and calm under fire, note that this picture is *after* I cleaned up the poo on her arms and neck and removed her outerwear.

"Tis the Season

2008-02-08T22:24:00.000-05:00

The Thin Girl

2008-02-06T17:52:00.000-05:00

So my sleuthing friend Marty had an article in the Disturber today about the town attorney for Stallings getting busted for taking $180 from an old lady at Harris Teeter. The blurb in today's edition was short, but you can read all about it tomorrow in the Union County section (Local News section listed by county on the left on the home page of the online Charlotte Observer). Here's a little teaser for you: http://www.charlotte.com/union/story/481098.html

PS The "Thin Girl" refers to the late 30's Thin Man detective movies with James McDowell and Myrna Loye. We love them!

PPS Tim and Hannah, we think you should name your dogs Mr. and Mrs. Asta after the dogs in the Thin Man movies. I hope you can get your hands on the movies in Peru!

Where is she?

2008-02-04T17:50:00.000-05:00

I wish you could see Vivian in this picture, but she blends in too well with her pink camouflage Elmo overalls and Duke camouflage hat. Trust me when I tell you she was adorable in her hunting gear today. Next time Emily will wear a different color so you can see Vivy too.

Absolute Organics - additional note

2008-02-03T18:58:00.001-05:00

A quick follow up to the rave review of Absolute Organics. Being the neurotic cheapskate that I am, I did some pretty detailed price comparisons before we signed up with Vonda. Many of the products are less expensive than the same products offered at Harris Teeter, especially grocery items like coffee and honey. For example, Larry's Beans (organic coffee) is about $1.50 cheaper through Vonda. However, the bottom line is an average 7% premium over the same basket of products at HT, or about $2.50 extra per box (3 week comparison in 2006). I think that's a good price to pay for (1) doorstep delivery, (2) a level of forced variety that helps our menu stay diverse, and (3) great recipes for the items in the box that week, e.g., carnival squash.

Absolute Organics

2008-02-03T15:26:00.000-05:00

A few years ago Randy and I started making the move to eating more organically. Since we have both lost parents to cancer, we want to reduce the amount of weird chemicals we put in our bodies (and in Vivy's body too). So we started ordering organically grown fruits and vegetables through Absolute Organics. Today Steven and Vonda, the company founders, were featured in the Money Wise section of the Charlotte Disturber. Lake a look if you are interested:

http://www.charlotte.com/business/moneywise/story/475766.html

We highly recommend using their service!

From Chairman Mao and Abacus

2008-02-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

Enjoy.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index?pn=nickname

The Amateur Ambassador also recommends: http://www.mess.be/inickgenwuname.php

9 to 5

2008-02-02T20:23:00.000-05:00

Vivian is now one of Emily's desk accessories, in addition to the stapler and pen and pencil caddy.

Skip the brains

2008-02-02T20:09:00.000-05:00

Vivy had her first visit to John's Country Kitchen this morning. Though she decided to skip the brains and eggs, she still turned heads wearing her adorable pink cap.

I am Southern

2008-01-22T19:38:00.001-05:00

Vivy got her first strand of pearls this weekend.

They are tiny freshwater pearls, and they are perfect for any baby who wants to wear pearls. I got a similar strand from my Aunt Nancy (the same aunt that gave Vivy her strand), and I still have them. Nancy told my mom that she had gotten Vivy a present that was "very Montgomery" and gave them to Vivy this past weekend while she, Mom and I were making our whistle stop tour of the South. My Aunt Malone had already sent her a monogrammed baby bracelet, so Vivy is ready for her next picture day.

My family moved to Charlotte in 1984, leaving our regular trips to Montgomery at the Georgia state line. Even though I never lived in Montgomery-- never wore monogrammed sweaters or attending cotillion balls-- I lived vicariously through my cousins, Jennifer and Julie, and grew up feeling like these things were somehow apart of my own past. But my family didn't move in those circles in Atlanta or in Charlotte, and as time went by I began to detach and almost disdain those kinds of experiences. I became more metropolitan, more intellectual I suppose, and regarded the southern experience as sheltered and superficial.

Since then I have vacillated between loving and leaving the South. Yet as much as I want to break away from it, I naturally gravitate toward decorating my house in coordinating floral and stripe fabrics and can't leave my pearl earrings in my jewelry box. I'm probably even going to buy Vivy something smocked to wear at Easter.

Why do I write this? Because during this trip to Montgomery I somehow was able to just embrace my sweet Southern family and not worry about how "southern" everything was. This world is apart of me, and this weekend I remembered that. And I'm glad Vivy will grow up tasting it too, even if only every once in a while. So what if I don't drink before noon (even on a Saturday) or that I don't have a Shi Tzu named Coco Chanel who has her own pink monogrammed dog bed. I am still Southern.

The Bee Buzz

2008-01-20T13:14:00.000-05:00

I have been interested in the news of Colony Collapse Disorder over the last year. It's both sad and scary to think that 30% of the honeybee colonies in the US have died since 2006. I just read a hopeful article called "The Bee Crisis" in Organic Gardening. To summarize some practical tips for encouraging native pollinators like bumble bees and sweat bees:

Offer a flower buffet. Include a variety of flower types and colors. Bees favorite colors are blue, purple, violet, white and yellow. Plant both annuals and perennials because some types of bees prefer one over the other. Include native wildflower which can be up to 4 times more attractive than exotics.
Skip the "poodles." Showy flowers with ruffly doubled petals are a bust for bees because they either don't produce nectar, or the bees can't get at what nectar is there. The best flowers for bees have the carpels and stamens visible.
Go for a continuous three-season bloom. Bees have a tough time in the spring and find bulb flowers unattractive for some reason. Fruit trees or flowering shrubs are good for the spring. Summer is easier. For the fall consider sedum, asters, and goldenrod.
Plant clumps. Bees stay longer in gardens at least 3-4 feet in length and may ignore smaller displays, no matter how good the nectar supply and quality are.
Add water. Bees need water and having a birdbath or drip irrigation line makes one's garden a one-stop-shop.
Leave the ground bare. Most native bees live alone in the ground. Plastic weed barriers and heavy mulches can keep native bees from making a nest and laying eggs. Alternatively, one can create nesting areas with wood blocks or tubes. Native bees naturally nest in abandoned beetle tunnels found in wood.

Brittany to College

2008-01-19T13:30:00.001-05:00

Brittany has been on the college hunt for a while now and had a great visit to Greensboro College today. It's a small college, about 1300 students total, and very friendly all around.

Brittany thinks she wants to be a teacher and GC is one of the best at teacher prep in the Southeast. Though there are some other schools to look at, apparently this one will be a perfect fit in a lot of ways.

Rabbit Ears

2008-01-17T18:32:00.000-05:00

LOL - Emily really pulled one over on Vivy. Look at those rabbit ears. Ha ha ha. I bet Vivy didn't even notice! ROFL.

Leaky Baby

2008-01-16T23:41:00.000-05:00

A poem by Sharon Creech:

Leaky baby
leaky baby
I'm a leaky baby.

Blurping milk
on Mommy's clothes
and Daddy's clothes

on their shoulders
on their laps
in their hair

on the couches
and the rugs
and the beds
and the chairs.

Diapers leaking
everywhere

Saliva dripping
down my chin.

Leaky baby
leaky baby
what a leaky baby!

Criminal

2008-01-10T18:24:00.000-05:00

So the good news is that I had the opportunity to see Mecklenburg County's new courthouse today and it really is as beautiful as everyone says. The outside structure doesn't seem all that to me, but inside is very elegant and I'm thrilled with the mix of grandeur and intimacy in the lobby. Very cool. BE&K has a little writeup with some pictures - note, this is a pdf file. I came home and was so excited to take a family outing Uptown so Emily could see it (as well as "Jail Central" which is where the Sherriff's office and Magistrate's office is located, just outside of the County jail). Then I remembered how uncomfortable I felt surrounded by all those criminals and other people who I bet want to be criminals when they grow up. No Fink family outing until Vivy is at least 40.

The bad news is that I was pulled over yesterday for having an expired license plate registration. I am *so* bad at things like this (some might remember by revoked plate in 1998 or 1999) but really thought that I had improved. When Officer Herlocker (nice guy) pulled me over yesterday, I was so confident there was a mistake I whipped out the "registration" and kindly informed him to take a hike. He humored me by running the plate again to confirm I was a dumbass and that the paper I gave him was in fact the bill to renew my registration, and not the registration itself. I guess being dumb is just the price I pay for being this good looking.

Christmas Week in Review

2008-01-06T08:56:00.000-05:00

On the first day of Christmas...

Mimi came over and we ate brunch, opened presents and watched A Christmas Carol. Vivy got a new mobile that she LOVES and basically sat around looking cute!

On the second day of Christmas...

We took Vivy to the mall for the first time! Randy hates the mall, especially when it's crowded, so he was a very good sport for going. Vivy takes after her mother and really enjoyed perusing the sale racks at Gymboree.

On the third day of Christmas...

We rode Charlotte's new light rail uptown and had dinner at Brixx Pizza. Randy and Vivy had a great time playing on the train.

On the fourth day of Christmas...

The three of us drove around town collecting bottles of Schramsberg Cremant for our little New Year's get together. Three wine stores later we had enough for the party.

On the fifth, sixth and seventh days of Christmas we cleaned our house. Yes, it took three days. I'm learning this is life with a baby!

On the eighth day of Christmas...

We rang in the new year with dear friends, many of whom are my old friends from Wilmington. We played Apples to Apples (which I highly recommend) and drank our Cremant out of our new champagne flutes that we got off Ebay. Our darling daughter slept through the whole party. Go Vivy!

Marty, Chris, Nicole and Brian. Nicole and Brian are leaving to live in Croatia for two years in just a few short weeks, so it was great to see them.

Randy and I almost never take a picture where we are both smiling, so I had to post this!

On the ninth day of Christmas...

Vivy and I had New Year's Day lunch twice! The first time was at a lunch hosted by Steph and Holly at Holly's house. It was a full house, and the food and company were great! Then we met Randy at Heidi's house and celebrated again with the McClintocks. It was a very full and fun day.

Baby Molly (Vivy's best friend although she doesn't know it yet) with Holly. I wish Molly's eyes were open for the picture, but oh well.

This is another one of Vivy's friends-- Salem. She belongs to Sheila and Jody Strange.

On the tenth day of Christmas...

Randy went back to work, and Vivy and I met my college friend Jen MacLean for lunch before she headed back to New Haven. It was great to see Jen and her mom Lauralyn!

On the eleventh day of Christmas...

Vivy showed off for the camera with her baby dance. What a feelin'!

On the Twelth day of Christmas...

We finally had a slow day at home. Randy and Vivy spent the whole day hanging out-- they both loved it. Here are some darling pics Randy took of Viv and Millie.

We hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Eight Maids o' Milking

2007-12-16T21:10:00.001-05:00

We got these "Twelve Days of Christmas" wine glasses as a wedding gift from our friends Greg and Andrea. This year I am exclusively drinking out of the "Eight Maids of Milking" glass. Need I say more?

If you haven't got a turkey leg, a turkey wing will do

2007-12-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

I never heard Bing Crosby's "Christmas Is A-Coming" until yesterday, and it's my new favorite Christmas song. Tried to find an audio or video link to the song and couldn't, so if you're not familiar with it just call Emily and she'll sing it for you.

Yet Another Great Reason to Support Huckabee

2007-12-08T08:31:00.001-05:00

Crank that Soulja Boy

2007-11-29T11:30:00.000-05:00

Oh look, Lil' Viv has joined the ranks of young hip hop artists with her own rendition of Soulja Boy's "Crank That." We're so proud!

And if you have no idea what I am talking about, you can watch Soulja Boy on YouTube:

Blue Steel

2007-11-28T17:43:00.000-05:00

Tiona Fuller came over this weekend for Vivian's first photo shoot. Tiona was really fun to work with, and she got some great poses, including Vivy's own take on Blue Steel below. We've known all along that Vivy is unusually beautiful (as well as kind, intelligent, hard working, and athletic). We were thrilled nonetheless for Vivy to get her first taste of fame with a feature on Tiona's web site.

My Girls

2007-11-26T21:44:00.001-05:00

The three best looking ladies in the whole world - I'm the luckiest husband, father, dog-owner there is!

Severely Pacified

2007-11-26T21:32:00.000-05:00

She took the pacifier for about five minutes, and boom, she was out!

Notice the marks around her mouth - so funny!

Weekend Visitors

2007-11-21T11:12:00.000-05:00

We had lots of visitors over the weekend! My dear friend Kelly came over with her daughter Tallie and sister Erin to meet Vivy. Vivy slept the whole time, but I think Tallie enjoyed meeting her none the less!

Then, my Aunt Nancy, cousin Ginger and her two boys came all the way from Atlanta to meet the little one.

Last, but not least, our regular weekend visitors, the Metzls, came over with Steph for pizza on Sunday. I think Uncle Randy started this game of putting all his loose change in pots and making noise with it, but Josh just wanted to wear the pot. He even recruited Marty for his fashion show!

Thanks everyone for coming! It was a wonderful weekend to share with you guys.

Bath Time

2007-11-16T10:38:00.000-05:00

Vivy had her first tub bath this week and even added her own hot water in the process. We didn't want to bathe her in her pee, so we moved her to a pot! My mom said we should just change the water in the tub next time... Anyway, here are a few precious pics from her bath. I want my UNCG gals to note that Vivy is wearing her "Super Star" onesie that Carolyn made-- she wears these personalized onesies a lot.

Off With the Fingernails!

2007-11-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

Both Vivy and I have been in need of a manicure for several days. Actually, I was planning to just file my nails because the edges were so jagged from the last time I cut them. And Vivy just needs hers trimmed. So today in the car I was examining my jagged nails, thinking that I needed to file them as soon as I got home and saw that there was this light brown something under my pinky nail-- you guessed it: Vivy Poop. So I decided to forget filing; I need to keep these nails as short as possible. Another surprise in motherhood...

But I can't complain too much-- I'll take a little poop to see this face any day.

War Stories

2007-11-02T20:53:00.001-04:00

Once I was visibly pregnant, it seemed that everyone I met wanted to tell me the story of their child's birth. I had been warned that this would happen, especially with women who had particularly difficult experiences. And overall it was fine-- I actually enjoyed meeting other moms and hearing their stories. But until I experienced Vivy's birth I didn't get why they wanted to tell me all this personal information. But now I do! A birth story is a mother's war story. My friend Mary J said that now that I have experienced birthing a baby I am in a league with all the other mothers in the world, both past and present, who have this shared experience. And now I have my own war story to share. So here's a short version:

My labor was pretty textbook until I started experiencing some back labor. We didn't know that Vivy's head was pressing against my pelvis and back in such a way that the right side of her face was hitting my pelvis with every contraction. After over an hour of pushing, my doctor Chris realized that Vivy was brow presenting (if you want to read more, you can at www.birth.com.au). The long and short of it is that she came out right eyebrow first which is the "broadest" way a baby can come out. .02% of births are brow presenting, and most of them result in a c-section. So for her to arrive here through a vaginal delivery is pretty incredible. Needless to say, both her recovery and mine have been a little longer and harder than expected, but were both doing really well now. Here's picture of Vivy's other side (the one we didn't post initially, and I wish you could see her bruising better) and one of her with Randy the other day. And I won't show you a picture of my bruising! ;)

A Clean Little Froggy

2007-10-27T20:57:00.000-04:00

Vivy had her first bath this evening and loved it, especially when she realized she got to wear her froggy hooded towel afterwards.

Milk Drunk Vivy

2007-10-27T20:53:00.000-04:00

Thanks goodness Emily is willing to hold back Vivy's hair.

More Family Visits

2007-10-27T20:44:00.000-04:00

We had "Fink Day" today and Vivy got to meet more of her family...

Aunt Robyn and cousin Kathryn...

Aunt Ronda...

Cousin Emileigh...

Cousin Brittany...

Uncle Jason...

And Cousins Evan and Julian.

Vivy Meets the Family

2007-10-26T12:13:00.001-04:00

Vivy with...

Mimi...

Pappy and Nanna...

and Millie.

New Round of Photos

2007-10-26T11:59:00.000-04:00

Stephanie sent along these pictures from Wednesday to add to the ones Marty took in the last post.

Vivian Elizabeth Fink

2007-10-24T22:01:00.000-04:00

Vivian ("Vivy") Elizabeth Fink was born at 7:21pm on October 23, 2007. She weighed in at a healthy 7lbs and 14oz and is 20 inches long. Both Vivy and Emily are recovering nicely, and expect to be home from the hospital Thursday afternoon.

Zipper Is On The Way

2007-10-22T20:35:00.000-04:00

9 Months of Belly

2007-10-20T10:37:00.000-04:00

We both have a feeling this may be our last pregnancy status report (which means it probably won't be). Emily has felt surprisingly good. Her energy level has been high, she's been sleeping more or less well (6+ hours a night), and best of all, the indigestion went away a few weeks ago when the baby dropped. When the baby dropped, Em's ciatica did intensify, but thankfully it's not a constant problem and instead just comes in spurts.

Can you believe the difference nine months makes in a belly! Check this out.

May 1, 2007 (3-4 months pregnant)

October 19, 2007 (9 months pregnant)

It's Like Christmas!

2007-10-20T09:40:00.000-04:00

It never occurred to me that Zipper wouldn't arrive on or before her due date. I'm borderline shocked for some reason even though everyone else told us the first baby is often late. Now the anticipation is building something fierce and I'm starting to really appreciate the excitement of not knowing exactly when we're going to get to meet her. It's nerve racking for an anal-retentive Type-A like me, but it's fun too. I feel like Christmas is coming, but I don't know the exact date, just "sometime in late December."

Fashionably Late

2007-10-18T09:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was Baby Fink's due date, but obviously she decided that she wasn't quite ready to enter the world. So here's the only picture I have to share right now. I don't think you can tell how beautiful she is from this angle, but it's better than nothing (I guess).

It's Finally Done!

2007-10-14T22:17:00.001-04:00

After months of work and waiting, Baby Fink's nursery is done! And it's a good thing too-- especially since she is due to arrive in three days. All we have left to add is her name over the bed. Fortunately we still have three days to decide what it's going to be. I'm sooooo excited!

Before....

and after...

Racing Towards The Finish Line

2007-09-22T14:42:00.003-04:00

Just 3.5 weeks to go until Zipper's due date. We forgot to take a pregnancy pic of Emily until Thursday, and were in a hurry to go for some exercise when we remembered, hence the crazy pose for this weeks picture.

Compare to the first picture we took at the beginning of May when Emily was just starting to show.

Emily is generally feeling very good though increasingly tired. The baby is kicking up a storm and really working her way under Emily's rib cage which is sorta funny and very uncomfortable. Using conservative estimates of 0.5 lbs growth per week since her weight was measured 8/24/2007, we are guessing Zipper is about 7.5 pounds right now leading us to believe she's going to be a big fat baby. The doctor wouldn't say whether he thinks Emily will deliver early or late at this point, though we think she'll probably go on the early side. My rigorous analysis leads me to believe it will be October 7, between 4:30 and 5:00pm.

We've been a little slow with the final details of the nursery due to some bad shipping time estimates. Emily has spent the last few days, however, finishing shopping for clothes for the baby, a few things Emily needs for her hospital bag, and last minute touches with nursery decorating. By the end of this weekend we should be ready for the baby to show up whenever is most convenient for her.

Regarding names, we are still flailing, but at least we've narrowed down the universe of names actively under consideration to about 40. I spent a lot of time organizing the various combinations in a spreadsheet the other day, and though it was totally useless in helping actually choose a name, it made me feel good to confirm that I'm really awesome at making attractive spreadsheets, a critical skill for fatherhood.

Too Much of a Good Thing

2007-09-22T14:42:00.001-04:00

Emily is the queen of bargain hunting. 95% of the time, that is a good thing and leads to great deals and money saved. From time to time things don't work out perfectly. Recently we used Smart Balance Certified Organic Buttery Spread and thought it was terrific. We loved it. The container looks like this.

Emily was shopping at Costco the other day and saw a great deal on Smart Balance Buttery Spread ($5 or something for a 5 lb container!) so she picked it up. The container looks like this.

What may not be obvious when you're comparing them side by side is that the deal was on the regular buttery spread which is marginal tasting at best, and has no other virtues that I'm aware of beyond the price. The real down side is that, being the cheapskates we are we definitely won't throw it away, so we've got to work our way through 5lbs, or 162 servings, of mediocre buttery spread.

The Cool Part

2007-09-22T10:28:00.000-04:00

Sherri reminded me the other day that when I was growing up I had a security blanket, and that I extracted endless joy from rubbing the "cool part", aka the satin edging, across my nose and cheeks. Apparently I enjoyed it so much I actually chafed my face a bit. Point being, wow how technology has improved blankets! Check out the "cool part" on these things - some of them are nothing but cool parts!

Big Dorks and Failing Grades

2007-09-22T10:19:00.000-04:00

Sweet Emily was exhausted yesterday but was able to push through and keep a dinner date we had with one of our favorite couples (names withheld to protect the innocent). Dinner was at Hawthorne Pizza where I'd only been for lunch and Emily had never been at all. Fantastic service and really good food too. Bottom line is that everyone at dinner was very bright and successful in multiple ways, but everyone also had an experience with one or more failing grades in college. It was so good to connect over failures (which I normally think are embarrasing), and to own up to being big dorks. To paraphrase our birthing doctor, it's taken 10 years and tons of therapy to get excited about that moniker.

Reesie and Miles

2007-08-26T17:53:00.000-04:00

What a great picture.

Being a Rich Oppressor

2007-08-26T15:44:00.000-04:00

So this verse knocked the wind out of me when I read it last week:

Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty.

Matthew 5:1-4 (emphasis mine)

We have some help with our yard, and we're looking at getting some additional help with things when the baby arrives. I also manage several large vendors at work in my operations function who do a lot of basic labor like landscaping and cleaning. The personal and professional goal is to hire folks to do work as inexpensively as possible and still get the job done well. I don't know what the hourly wages are of some of the folks hired by the people we hire, but I bet it's less than $10/hour or so in many cases.

The HHS Poverty Guidelines state that a family of four making $20,650 a year lives in poverty. That is $9.93/hour for a single parent working a full-time job raising a family of three kids. Also powerful, almost 17% of children in Mecklenburg County live in poverty (over 23,000). I couldn't find a statistic quickly online because the BLS web site is down, but Emily remembers that there are local community reports with statistics that show the problem of poverty in Charlotte is not unemployment. Back-of-the-envelope evidence is that approximately 12.8% of Mecklenburg's population lives in poverty, and our unemployment rate is approximately 4.3%.

The relevance: (1) Over 23,000 children live in poverty within 20 minutes of my house (2) Children are poor because their parents are poor, (3) Parents are poor because they don't make enough money, (4) One reason that many parents don't make enough money is because they work but aren't paid enough, (5) I am part of the system that drives decisions to not pay parents enough.

Bottom line, I am part of the system that has yielded 23,000 children living in poverty within 20 minutes of my house (17% of all children in my County).

So, the challenge becomes what to do about it? I'm thinking God is pointing me to start with the things I have direct control over, building concentric circles of influence outward from my own house.

The Blue Fairy

2007-08-25T18:57:00.001-04:00

We spent today at Pappy and Nanna's house swimming and playing before Kathryn's 4th Birthday party. Tasty chocolate cake and ice cream, and then presents, including a blue fairy costume.

Big Fat Baby

2007-08-24T18:07:00.001-04:00

We had another ultrasound yesterday, mostly because folks with high blood pressure need to do some extra checking to make sure that the baby isn't too small. Mimi (Elizabeth) joined me and Randy which was fun.

It was a real shock to learn that Zipper is 5 pounds 6 ounces already! That's about 3 weeks ahead of schedule. People often comment that I don't look very big for being this far along in the pregnancy, so to learn that the baby is this much bigger than normal was a real surprise.

Marci (who does the ultrasounds) was full of optimism and encouragement as usual - she has been a real treat to get to know. Thanks for posing for the camera, Marci.

Naughty Millie

2007-08-21T22:58:00.000-04:00

I am a little embarrassed to report an anonymous source sent us this picture of Millie surveying the flock of flamingos she installed in Heidi's yard Monday afternoon. Naughty Millie.

A Post Only David & Erin Could Enjoy

2007-08-21T21:42:00.000-04:00

Numerous photos and many minutes of mind-numbing video that only a great son and daughter-in-law could enjoy.

Elizabeth's 60th Birthday Party Photo Album

Happy Birthday Elizabeth

2007-08-21T21:26:00.000-04:00

Elizabeth had a special, very large, very round numbered birthday this week, and Emily planned a surprise party for her in Atlanta to coincide with Ginger's wedding shower. There is nothing better than seeing the look on Elizabeth's face when her college roommate, best friend, and Southeast-based family popped out from behind the restaurant's curtains.

Hat's off and a heartfelt thanks to Blue Ridge Grille on West Paced Ferry Road for hosting us. They were wonderful to work with and a key ingredient to this very fun and memorable party. We're particularly grateful for Andrea and Ericka who were our servers that night - so fun, and so patient with us!

Raging Like Old Farts

2007-08-21T21:23:00.000-04:00

Had a great time Friday evening when we went out to dinner to celebrate Tim's birthday, then on to see Alison Krause play at Bobcat's arena. Marty captured the mood and the moment well on her blog.

Birthing Class Part 2

2007-08-17T08:16:00.000-04:00

Fortunately, the further I get from our first birthing class experience, the better I feel about it. Did you know, for instance, that at the beginning of labor it is recommended that you go to dinner or go see a movie? That sounds fabulous! However, right now I would not want to go to a movie in the theatre because periodically I am suffering from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), and I don't like the idea of not being able to get up easily for a few hours at a time (unless I am sleeping). We also did a second tour of Presbyterian's maternity ward, and it is definitely nicer than my house. So most of the information I learned in birthing class is actually quite positive.

I'd like to note at this point that my positive attitude toward the birthing class may have to do with my new found happiness that I posted about last time. I realize that I have made some profound mental shifts in how I think about my surroundings, and one of my new happiness mantras is "Accentuate the Positive." I can't quit singing the Johnny Mercer tune by the same name in my head! If you are unfamiliar with the song, you can watch both Perry Como's performance from 1958 or a clip from some 1980's BBC show called The Singing Detective on You Tube, both complete with dance numbers.

Tricked!

2007-08-15T22:06:00.000-04:00

We just got home from our first birthing class, and wow, did we have a lot to debrief! I'll let Emily post about most of the experience. Two important things need posted immediately:

Joanna Mantis was in our class! Joanna graduated with us from East Meck, and neither of us has seen her in years. Apparently she was living in Greece (about 3 miles North of Athens) until almost 3 years ago when she moved back to the US with her husband of 6 years, Nick. Reconnecting with her in the class was a real treat.
The instructor/dula/nurse (Trish) tricked us and made us watch the birthing video the last 15 minutes of the class. Man, that was something else! We actually only watched 1/3 of the video, but I saw more of some lady in Chicago than I ever cared to even have a nightmare about. Yikes!

I love being pregnant!

2007-08-13T20:47:00.000-04:00

Today in the grocery store the woman behind me in line said, "You look like a very happy expectant mom." Could she read it on my face? I told Randy the other day that this is one of the happiest seasons of my life. My hair is the thickest its ever been, I can basically eat whatever I want (minus citric acid which gives me terrible heartburn), and I love my husband more and more every day. Part of me thinks it's all hormones, which is disappointing because I will probably go back to being grumpy after the baby is born! But I think it's more than that. I am just relishing this time of expectation before our baby comes. I have nine months to grow accustomed to the idea that a little one is getting ready to change my life forever, and there is nothing I can do to either speed up or slow down that change. So I can enjoy the anticipation of this new season because it's happening to me-- I'm not making it happen. I just love that! It's unlike anything I've ever done, namely because there is no illusion that I am in control. God is! And that makes me happy.

In Your Face!

2007-08-12T17:52:00.000-04:00

To all the naysayers out there...
To all those who want to get you down...
To all the people who think your dreams aren't possible..
To all those who worship Satan and hate everything holy, good, just, and American...

Wiktionary.org, the most authoritative dictionary on the planet, constantly updated and always full of the most current wisdom known to mankind, says that...

The plural of zenith is...

ZENITHS!

Who knew that a simple game of Scrabble would be the final contest proving that Duke is better than Carolina.

Panasonic Camcorder SDR-H200

2007-08-12T11:42:00.000-04:00

We took the plunge into the 20th Century this past week and bought a camcorder. I agonized over the best one to buy, and after several weeks of search and research, settled on the Panasonic SDR-H200 Palmcorder. Deciding factors were:

Hard drive recording format (rather than MiniDV or some other tape format) which makes downloading select clips and working with manageable sections of video possible. Apparently with MiniDV etc., the entire tape has to be downloaded in order to burn or edit the video. With a hard drive, I can just download the clips that are worth keeping and delete the rest without having to download them first.
Image stabilization was a significant factor. The Panasonics, and especially the H200, have the best image stabilizing features which is important to me as a novice with shaky hands.
Ease of use. The camera itself is very easy, with clearly marked controls for video recording, still photos, and special features like zooming, external light, manual focus, etc. The software that comes with it for editing is also very easy to use - I was able to figure out the stuff we'll use most frequently just by using it without having to refer to the user manual. One other positive that I didn't think much about in advance is the size - the H200 fits my hand perfectly. All of the controls are within reach of my thumb or index finger, and it only weighs 1 pound.
Rave reviews from Consumer Reports. We were almost going to buy the SDR-H18 which CR ranked as the best value in HDD Camcorders, but decided that the better video quality and built-in light of the H200 was worth a little more money.

Baby Update

2007-08-12T10:56:00.000-04:00

We've been so busy for the last few weeks. Thankfully, this weekend we had a little breather and have been able to get caught up on a few things. A few highlights from late July and August:

Emily's had her first baby shower in late July. She had a lot of fun, and the group decided the name of the baby will be Martha Metzl Fink.
Our baby moon the following weekend was great in spite of some logistical problems at the Charlotte Omni. We agreed the highlight was at Zinc American Kitchen where we had a slow meal (~3 hours) with great service and great food. Thank you Tim & Hannah for teaching us how to really take our time and enjoy dinner.
Last weekend we got a start on the nursery. We were able to get the wallpaper down (I'm a great stripper), the walls painted, Emily's grandmother's rug installed, and most of the furniture moved in. It's 75% finished and looking good - I'll tease you with a few "before" pictures in the nursery album for now.
This past week we bought our camcorder which was a huge hurdle for us since we're both technophobes.
This next week, we begin the birthing classes (five weeks) though I'm thrilled to report I don't have to watch the video! I'm also taking an infant CPR class, and will be taking Daddy 411 too (how to change diapers, etc.).

Emily is feeling so good relatively speaking, though she's definitely feeling tired more easily and having trouble sleeping to boot. She has a lot of travel, visitors and showers in the next few weeks. Though she is so grateful and looking forward to everything she's doing, I also know she's looking forward to wrapping up this phase of the pregnancy and being able to slow down.

Josh's Video Debut

2007-08-11T18:35:00.000-04:00

We had so much fun visiting with our godson Josh today. Fortunately, we arrived home from lunch shortly after our new camcorder was delivered. Lucky Josh - he gets to be the subject of our first film debut. Of course we had to make sure our own child received equal time, even if she is still 10 weeks from being born.

When Christians Attack?

2007-07-19T07:09:00.000-04:00

I am not quite sure what to think of this article posted in a blog oriented towards liberal North Carolina politics (gotta keep up with the competition). Gist is that the author attended a High Point City Council meeting where there was a debate over the meeting's opening prayer. The most provocative part of this story to me is not the facts of the story, but the author's engagement with Christians - her obvious natural bias against Christians, and her grudging respect and even identification with the Christians attending the meeting. I haven't thought about it enough yet, but there is something significant embedded here.